Harry Potter and Friends read My Immortal
by JiffyFrose
Summary: After Neville Longbottom finds a parchment containing the notorious story, My Immortal, they gather together to read the story about Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. Hilarity ensues.
1. Chapters 1 and 2

Hey everyone. This is a story to depict the Harry Potter characters' reactions if they got their hands on a copy of My Immortal by Tara Gilepsie (if her name is not spelled like that, well, you can send it) The story is mostly provided with conversation and not description. Because, as many of you know, you cannot go in depth with this story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or My Immortal

It was study period on a Tuesday afternoon as Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat at a table together in the Great Hall. It was their third year and they were talking about their just finished Transfiguration lesson. They used their animals and transfigured them into silver platters. Neville Longbottom walked into the Great Hall and was trying his hardest not to laugh. "Hey Neville, what's going on?" Ron said as he looked up at Neville. Neville's cheeks were red from where he had been laughing. "You guys, you have to read this!" Ron took the big group of parchment, and looked at the one on top. He only read the first line before he had given into hysterics. "Ron, what is it?" Hermione asked. Hermione could not see because she was on the other side of the table. Harry was on Ron's right side, looking over Ron's shoulders. Hermione walked around the table, and sat on Ron's left side. Neville was standing behind him. He had his hand in a fist as he coughed a few times from laughing so hard.

_AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!_

"Whoever this bloodytears person is, I feel sorry for them." Harry said.

"I feel bad for both of them because they don't know the structure of the English language," Hermione said, "this is pretty pathetic." Hermione said with a giggle.

_Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!)._

"My grandfather had dementia. I guess she has dementia too." Neville said, as he put his hand to his chin. "I guess she was born with long black hair, this girl is scaring me!" Ron exclaimed. "Hey you guys," Fred said. "What are you guys reading?" George asked. "Hey everyone, let's go up to the Gryffindor Common Room so we can read it out loud." Harry said. The six of them went up to the Gryffindor Common Room. Ron had his arm around Hermione's shoulders and was laughing the whole time. On the way to the common room, the group had been asked repeatedly by the occupants in the pictures if he was mad. "Long story." Fred said to each of them. They entered the common room after giving the password to the fat lady. "Now, I'll read." Ron said. He had not given up custody to the rolls yet, and had no intention of doing so anytime soon.

_I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black._

Ron stopped and looked up at the group. All of them were laughing, but George and Fred were laughing the hardest. "Ron that sounded so wrong!" George said. "I guess she's down with incest!" Lee Jordan said as he joined the group. Everyone looked up at him with a shocked face. "What? It's not like I would approve of it! Incest is disgusting!"

"She goes to Hogwarts?" Harry asked with a confused face.

"She wished she went to Hogwarts. How can a person be a vampire and a wizard? It doesn't make any sense!" Hermione said as she threw her arms open. "You're thinking too much into it." Harry said as he put a hand on her shoulder. Seamus Finnigan walked into the room and stood behind Ron. "What's going on?" Seamus asked as he looked at the rest of the group. They were all sitting on the floor in a circle. If Seamus didn't know any better, it looked like story time in kindergarten. "Come sit down next to me Seamus." Neville said as Seamus joined him.

_I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them._

"This girl is really creeping me out!" Seamus said, as he looked at Neville. "I feel the same way." Neville replied. "But can you imagine," Ron said, "a girl walking around Hogwarts like that." The whole group grimaced. "How can it snow and rain?" Hermione asked, "it is impossible because snow is the frozen form of rain."

"Hermione, we shouldn't think about it too much. This person has the IQ ten points lower than a mountain troll." Harry said. He clearly remembered their encounter with a full grown mountain troll on the third floor bathroom. He had to admit that the troll was really stupid. But this person was even more stupid. "Harry, that's an insult to all mountain trolls everywhere!" Neville said. Everyone in the group stared at him for ten seconds and then started to laugh. "Now, let me continue!" Ron said as he looked back at the scroll.

"_Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!_

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

"This isn't… real… this… isn't …real!" Ron said through his laughs. "Hello Ebony." George said in a voice that closely resembled Malfoy's. "What's up Draco?" Fred asked in a girly voice. "You want to go out for tea?"

"Of course Draco! I would love to!" Fred said as he lightly touched George's arm. "Guys, Malfoy wouldn't be caught dead hanging out with her." Hermione said.

"Yeah, I bet he would scream and cry for daddy!" Lee Jordan said with a laugh.

"Malfoy was shy? Since when is Malfoy ever shy?" Seamus said. He looked around at the rest of the group to see if anyone can answer him. Everyone just sat there in silence. Everyone was in the same boat as him.

"I can't believe she has friends!" Hermione said with a look of bewilderment as she broke the silence.

"They're probably as stupid as her!" Neville said. Everyone turned and looked at him. Neville had always been the innocent one and not dare talk bad about someone they have never met. Everyone then laughed again. "Nice one Neville!" Ron said as he got off his place on the couch. He gave Neville a high five. "

"Do you guys want me to read chapter two?"

"Yeah, I need a good laugh." Harry said as he scooted two inches closer to Ron.

_Chapter 2._

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

"What does flaming mean?" Seamus asked confused.

"Probably hating, I really do not know." Hermione said.

"It's a miracle! Something Hermione doesn't know!" Ron said.

"Shut up Ron!"

"Let's get back to the story!" Fred said.

_The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun._

"Why would she have blood in a bottle?" Lee Jordan asked. His face depicted a look as though he was grossed out.

"Why would she sleep in a coffin?" Ginny asked. She had just come into the common room, and had brought Dean Thomas into the room with her. "She's a vampire." Harry said. He hoped this would catch them up to speed so they can get back to the story.

_My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)_

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

"Wait, who would use OMFG in a spoken conversation?" Ginny asked as she brushed a hair from in front of her eyes.

"Why would Malfoy talk to a girl like that?" Neville asked.

"He would probably run in the other direction." Seamus replied.

"So they're in Slytherin?" George asked. He looked at Fred, and he was laughing. George gave him a confused look before Fred looked at him and said, "It's a good thing that they're in Slytherin. Because we bloody don't want them."

"This makes me almost feel bad for the rest of the Slytherin house." Hermione said.

"The key word Hermione is almost." Ron said as he looked at the parchment.

"Do you guys know who Good Charlotte is?" Ginny asked. They did not sound like any of the wizard bands that they have heard of. "Are they a new band?"

"I haven't heard of them." Lee Jordan said.

"Could they be a muggle band, Harry?" Ginny asked.

"I think so. I remember Dudley complaining about how much he hated him. He said that if he heard one more of their songs he was going to throw the radio out the window."

"But Harry, muggle bands can't come to Hogsmeade!" Hermione said.

"Hermione, you have never heard of them before?" Dean asked.

"No. I only listen to British bands. I'm not into American bands." Hermione said. Dean made an understanding face.

"I guess MCR is another muggle band." Neville said.

"This Ebony girl is a wannabe." Ginny says. "I mean she's obviously a gothic emo muggle who wishes she could be at Hogwarts, but would never be able to get in."

"No one in their right mind would go parading around like that. People would think she was a satanic bimbo." Hermione replied.

"Why is it that one minute she hates Draco, and the next minute she wants to snog him?" Fred asked as he made a disgusted face.

The portrait of the fat lady opened up, and Professor McGonagall came in. Ron quickly rolled up the parchment, and put it behind his back. "Same time tomorrow?" Ron asked after Professor McGonagall left. "Yes." Everyone said as they got up and went back to their rooms.

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	2. Chapters 3 and 4

Cwam: Thank you for your review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or My Immortal

The next day, everyone had been excited to hear some more of the story. Ron, once again, was reading the story. Hermione believed that everyone should have a chance to read it. Ron, on the other hand, believes if everyone read it out loud than it would not be as real. Harry agreed with Ron, only because whenever Ron read the story it was funny. They were waiting on everyone else to show up. The portal opened, and everyone that was there yesterday came in. Of course, there were some new additions to the group. Ginny had brought Luna Lovegood. Parvati, through conversation with Hermione, had come along and brought Padma with her. Cho Chang and Cedric Diggory found out through Luna, and they also brought Marietta. Zacharias Smith decided to tag along as well. When Colin Creevy came, he was bouncing off the walls. He believed that Harry would be reading the hilarious story, but was disappointed when he found out it was Ron. He had brought his camera with him to take pictures to prove he has met Harry Potter. "Okay you guys! I know you all want to hear the story, but only under two conditions." Harry said as he stood up in front of the rest of the group. Everyone looked up at him. "First," Harry held up one finger, " do not talk about this story outside of here. There could be some hurtful things in the story that will get us all in trouble." He then held up another finger, "and secondly, no more people can come to the group. We're big enough as it is, the more people know, the more it could slip."

"What about other Gryffindors?" Zacharias Smith asked.

"Well, we can't help it if other Gryffindors come because this is the _Gryffindor _common room." Harry said as he sat back down next to Ron. "Now that you're finished asking questions," Hermione said to the rest of the group. She then looked at Ron, "Can we continue listening to the story?"

"Of course Hermione." Ron said as he pulled the big load of parchment out. "Now where were we," Ron said more to himself than to the group, "Oh yes, right here!" He said as he pointed at a place on the parchment.

_Chapter 3._

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

"Yes, it really says that." Ron said when he looked up. Everyone was wearing confused faces. "What is fangs supposed to mean?" Luna asked as she looked at Ginny. "I think it means thanks?" Ginny said. She was just as confused as Luna.

_On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert._

"Why would she wear that stuff?" Padma asked as she looked at Parvarti. "Why would she talk about slitting her wrist as though she was talking about the weather?" Parvarti asked back. Cedric looked around and then asked, "Why does she feel the need to look like a gothic blow fish?" Everyone just stared at him for a full minute and then they all laughed. "Good one Cedric!" Zacharias exclaimed as the two did a fist punch. "Wait a minute." Hermione said as she took her hands and waved them. "She's not wearing foundation because she's pale anyway? She wore foundation in the other two chapters." Everyone just shrugged.

_I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!)._

Everyone was laughing really hard. George was shaking his head. "No, no they don't."

"Looks like she turned Malfoy into a sissy boy!" Fred said and everyone laughed even louder.

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.

"How can someone say that in a depressed voice?" Ron said, "There's an exclamation point after Draco." He explained to the rest of the group.

"_Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte._

"Who's driving the car?" Marietta asked. "Aren't they going to crash because they're doing drugs."

"Marietta, nothing in this story makes sense." Cho replied.

"_You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
>They're all so happy you've arrived<br>The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
>She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).<em>

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"This girl is crazy!" Lee Jordan says, "You don't go with your guy to a concert and say the singer is hot. Same situation for guys too."

"_What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on._

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Since when is Malfoy sensitive?" Harry asked.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

"And who is Hilary Duff?" Zacharias asked.

"Muggle singer." Seamus said.

"Well why does she hate someone she doesn't know?"

"_Because she's a freak!"  
><em>

_The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!_

"Since when do they have beer?" Neville asked, "They're not even of age yet."

"And why did they crawl to the car?" Padma asked, "wouldn't they get killed because they would get run over by people?"

"Are you guys ready for the next chapter?" Ron asked.

"Read on Ron!" Cedric said.

_Chapter 4._

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

"No. No. " Harry said.

"_DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"_

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore

"What? Since when did he get over his fear of the Forbidden Forest?" Neville asked. He remembered in first year how Malfoy screamed like a baby during their detention with Hagrid.

"And since when does he wear red color contacts?" Parvarti asked.

_And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.  
><em>

"Okay, so Malfoy climbed on top of her. Which would mean she would be laying down horizontal. But a tree is vertical. How does that work?" Ginny asked.

"Maybe it was an already cut down tree." Hermione said.

"Wait, was she going commando?" Cho asked.

"Maybe she was. She sounds freakish enough."

"That was the most unromantic sex scene I have ever heard of." Everyone looked at Cho like she had just spouted another head. "That is the only sex scene I have ever heard of."

_"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then…._

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was….Dumbledore!

"Oh my god." Fred said. "That was the most epic thing Dumbledore has ever said. He's my new hero now!"

"I want to sit in Snape's class and suddenly scream that." George said and had a smile as big as the Cheserie cat's.

"Don't do it." Ron said. "He will bite your head off."

"Oh yeah, he would." George said as his smile deflated.

"I can't wait to see what happens next." Marietta said as she looked at Ron.

"We have to wait until tomorrow." Harry said as he looked at the Maurader's Map. "McGonagall's heading up here." They all dispersed into their different directions as Ron went to hide the parchment.

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	3. Chapters 5 and 6

Cwam: Thank you for your review! I apologize for the confusion. Some of the My Immortal is written regularly and the commentary in italics. I'm going to start using bold from now on so it's not so confusing.

Thebiggestpotterfreak: Thanks for the review!

Chapter 3

This was the third day that they have found "My Immortal" and have been reading it. Everyone that came for the reading yesterday showed up. Ernie McMillan, Justin Finch-Fletchly and Hannah Abbot, however, were new to the group. Harry stood up as they entered the common room after Zacharias and Neville. "Hey, I don't want to be the bad guy. But you guys can't come." Harry said as he blocked them from coming into the common room. "Harry, we would have come yesterday." Hannah said as she took a step toward Harry. "Yeah, but we had detention with Mr. Filch."

"What did you guys do?" Harry asked confused. He scratched his head as he continued to look at him. "We didn't do anything. Something about ruining his floors." Justin said as he extended his arms. "Come on Harry, let them in!" Neville said from behind Harry. He had put his hand on his shoulder. "I think this one exception won't hurt." Cedric said from the couch. "Okay, you guys can come. But nobody, I repeat, nobody else can come!" Harry said exasperated. He wasn't trying to be an ass, he just knew that the bigger the group, the more trouble could easily find them. Harry had taken his place on the floor, and sat Indian style beside Ron. Ron was once again reading the story. "Okay, are you guys ready for me to start?"

"Yes Ron, start." Hermione said as she looked up at him.

**Chapter 5.**

**AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!**

"They spelled Dumbledore wrong." Ron said as he looked at the parchment.

"Why does this not surprise me?" Seamus said.

**Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.**

**"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.**

**I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.**

"Why does she cry tears of blood?" Hannah asked.

"She's a vampire. But then again, nothing makes sense." George explained.

"Why are Professor McGonagall and Snape angry about something they didn't even know about?" Ginny asked.

"Think about Ginny, does anything this person writes make sense?" Luna asked.

"No, you're right." Ginny replied.

"**They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.**

**"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall.**

**"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.**

**And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"**

**Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."**

**Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.**

"Why would Professor Dumbledore yell?" Justin asked.

"He doesn't. Whenever I get in trouble with him, he doesn't even shout. He just uses a 'I'm very disappointed in you Mr. Jordan' tone of voice."

"I think they have Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape mixed up." Marietta said.

"Whenever Professor McGonagall gets angry, she never namecalls. That is more of Professor Snape." Cho said.

"Why is Professor Snape so nonchalant?" Neville asked. "I would think he was the one who would let them have it."

"Because they're from Slytherin house." Hermione said. "He favors those from his house."

"Yeah, that makes sense." Neville said as he scratched his head.

"**Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.**

**"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….**

**Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.**

"He asked gently?" Ernie asked confused "The hell is this?"

"I've been asking myself the same question ever since Neville brought this to us." Ron replied.

"Wait, why is she wearing that if they have to go to bed in the next ten minutes?" Justin asked.

"Why would Malfoy know the words to a Good Charlotte song?" George asked. "I thought it was a muggle band."

"It is. I would think that Malfoy would want nothing to do with anything muggle." Fred replied.

"He doesn't. He's a pureblood. He thinks anything muggle is revolting." Hermione said.

"Well, Malfoy is an idiot." Ron said.

"Why, thank you Ron." Hermione said with a smile. "Do you guys want me to read the next chapter?" Ron asked as he went to the next parchment."Yes!" Everyone exclaimed. Ron had a little smirk on his face. He then went to the next chapter.

**Chapter 6.**

**AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!**

"Wow, and I thought I had bad spelling." Ron said. Everyone let out a little laugh.

**The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.**

"Wait, what does she mean when she says two crosses in her ears?" Luna asked.

"Maybe she puts them in a weird place?" Hannah asked.

"Why would she spray paint her hair purple? I heard you can die if you do that." Justin said.

"Really?"George asked.

"It won't kill you, but it will make you very sick" Hermione said.

"Oooohhhl" Fred and George said.

"Wait, she is allowed to wear whatever she wants but everyone else has to wear their uniforms?" Marietta asked.

"I guess that's what the scroll says." Cho said.

**In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.**

**"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.**

**"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.**

**"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.**

"Please, for the love of merlin. Please tell me that this person is not who I think it is." Harry said to Ron as he put his head between his hands.

"Ten bucks says this guys is Harry Potter!" Seamus said and the room erupted with laughter.

"This person is not who you think it is." Ron said. Harry could tell that Ron was lying. Harry moaned and laid on the floor and covered his ears.

"Sorry Harry, but that does sound like you." Lee said. "She described you to a T."

"She had an erection, yet she didn't?" Hannah asked.

"Harry wears makeup?" Cedric asked.

"I do not wear makeup!" Harry exclaimed. He was still covering his ears.

"**My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.**

**"Why?" I exclaimed.**

**"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.**

**"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.**

**"Really?" he whimpered.**

**"Yeah." I roared.**

**We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.**

"Wait, so she roared like a lion? Shouldn't she be in Gryffindor?" Luna asked.

"Oh merlin no, we don't want her!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Okay first off, I do not grumble while making introductions. Second off I do not go by Vampire. Thirdly I think blood tastes disgusting. Fourthly I don't giggle like a little school girl no offense to any girls in here, and finally I do not whimper!" Harry said as he stood up and walked back and forth in front of Ron.

"No offense taken Harry." Lavender said as she appeared suddenly behind Ron. She then went to her room. Lavender came back down to the common room and said. "You guys, McGonagall could be up here any minute. She was a floor down talking to Professor Flitwick. Everyone who was not a Gryffindor left the common room before Professor McGonagall came in.

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	4. Chapters 7 and 8

Thebiggestpotterfreak: Thanks for reminding me. Thank you for the review!

LittleRobinForever: Your review is awesome!

Cwam: Thanks for the review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or My Immortal

Chapter 4

The _My Immortal_ readings have become popular. The group was looking forward to hearing more of the story. This popularity was not caused by how good the story is however, but it's notoriety is given for how bad it is. Harry didn't look too happy as he walked into the common room. Hermione put her hand on Harry's shoulder. He didn't move or say anything. "Harry, I understand that you're upset. But there is probably stuff on everyone in this room."

"Yeah, you're right." Harry said as he sat down in his usual spot.

"Okay, are you guys ready for reading the story?" Everyone cheered. Ron pulled out a scroll and he began to read.

**Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life  
><strong>  
><strong>AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!<strong>

"Wait, what's a Mary Sue?" Cedric asked.

"It's a character created by an author who has no flaws. She is liked by everyone even if she is a total arse." Hermione said matter-of-factly.

"Oh, does that include Twilight?" Cedric asked her.

"Yes."

"I feel bad for whoever has to play her love interest." Cedric said as he ran a hand through his hair.

"And she worships Satan?" Dean asked as he twitched involuntarily.

"Creepy." Ginny and Luna said together.

**Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…**

"Oh no, I feel sorry for Malfoy." Harry said.

"Why feel sorry for that git." Neville said. This caused everyone to look at him in shock. "What? I can be mean too!" Neville snapped back.

**We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started****making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)**

"Wait, she's not wearing any underwear?" Fred asked.

"We covered this last time." Cho said.

"Oh yeah."

"Wait, so he stuck his boy's thingy in mine? Doesn't that make it a boy thingie too?" Ginny asked. Everyone started laughing. "Guys, this person is a hermaphrodite!" George said.

"**Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vampire!**

"What the heck?" Harry said as he threw out his arms.

**I was so angry.**

"**You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.**

**"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.**

**"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"**

"If a girl said that about me, I would never talk to her again." Harry said.

"If Malfoy has AIDS, does that mean she got it because she had sex with him?" Lee Jordan asked. Fred gave him a high five.

**I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.**

**"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled**.

"I don't care how much I like a girl. I'm not running around so everyone can see me naked." Zacharias said. Everyone just stared at him.

"So it's Vampire's classroom?" Marietta asked.

"Maybe they're in Professor Snape's classroom?"

"She better be glad I wasn't there." Harry said. "I would kick her ass."

"But Harry, she's a girl." Cho said.

"No, she's a hermaphrodite."

**Chapter 8.**

**AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep!**

"Stop flossing? Okay, then I'll be able to get cavities!" Hannah said.

**Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.**

**"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.**

"I hope Snape fries him!" Ernie said.

**My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )**

"Yes, I'm not the only one who is being written about!" Harry said as he did an air punch. Hermione shook her head. "So I was kidnapped. Who kidnapped me?" Hermione asked.

"The boogeyman?" Ron asked. Everyone laughed. "You're in Slytherin now!" Harry said. She shook her head. "Oh, and I so do NOT do the Satanist thing." She said as she whipped a hand through her hair.

"**What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.**

**"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.**

**Everyone gasped.**

**I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)**

"I think Snape is my hero now." Justin said. Everyone gave him a weird face. "What? Whoever tells this person off is good in my book."

"Eww, I would never go out with Malfoy." Harry said.

"Does it ever occur to her that tattoos are permanent?" Hermione asked.

"Wait, so is Malfoy talking here or this Ebony person?" Cho asked.

"I would go out with this Britney chick over Malfoy any day." Harry said.

"**But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.**

**"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.**

"I'm surprised Snape didn't take a 1,000 points from Slytherin for this." Lee wondered.

"Why would he take points from his own house?" Lavender asked.

"Knowing him, he would take off from Gryffindor." Seamus said. Hermione pulled out a dictionary and was laughing her butt off. Everyone looked at her curiously. "Guys you need to hear this." She said as she tried in vain to suppress her giggles. "Virility is the state or quality of being virile; manly character, vigor, or spirit; masculinity." The room was filled with laughter."So she lost her masculinity. And now that she's crying she gets boobs?" Ron asked. He got a high five from Harry. Neville poked his head outside of the common room and ran back in. "Guys, McGonagall's three floors down. You guys have to go." Everyone left the common room to go back to their bedrooms.

Please R&R


	5. Chapters 9 and 10

LittleRobinForever: You're welcome! And thanks for reviewing!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or My Immortal

Ch 5

The group had reformed for their little reading. Ron sat on the sofa, and he held the parchment. Harry sat beside Ron, and Hermione sat next to him. "So, let's sum this up." He said as he looked at Hermione. "I go by the name 'Vampire'," he said putting quotes around the word Vampire. "I was seeing Malfoy," he said as he grimaced, "and I dumped him."

"Okay, my turn," Hermione said as she looked at Harry, "My name is Bloody Mary Smith. I was kidnapped when I was born. Voldemort killed my mom, and my dad committed suicide. I still don't know who's taking care of me. I'm a Satanist so I'm in Slytherin now." She said as she looked at Ron. Ron cleared his throat. "Okay, are you guys ready?" The answer was unanimous, yes. He looked at the parchment and started reading.

**Chapter 9.**

**AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX!**

"I don't think any of this stuff happened in the movie." Dean said.

"And Dumbledore never swears, even if he does have a headache." Lee Jordan said.

"And I don't think that Snape cares what religion I am; he's still going to hate me." Harry said coolly. Ron gave him a high five.

**I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.**

**Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort!**

"So she was on top of the tree?" Cho said as she put her hands together.

"Okay, if it looks like Voldemort, I'm pretty sure that it is Voldemort." Hermione said. Everyone looked up at her in fear. "What? Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself."

"So, he's not a person. He's just a…thing?" Fred asked.

"Nice one, Fred!" George said as they gave each other high fives.

"**No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.**

"**Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.**

**"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!"**

"Last time I checked, you're supposed to say imperio." Cedric Diggory said.

"What's imperio?" Neville asked.

"It's one of the Three Unforgivable Curses. The imperius curse, which is said as imperio, is used to control someone's mind and actions. The second one is the cruciatus curse. It is said as crucio, and is used to torture people. The last one is avada kedavra, and that is used to kill someone."

"Wait," Ron said as he pulled the parchment away from him and then moved it back towards him, "Crookshanks? That's Hermione's bloody cat."

"So?" Hermione said in retort.

"Wait, is she using that as a curse, or what? I don't think Crookshanks would hang around her."

"If she was under the imperius curse, she couldn't do anything to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." Fred said.

"And last time I checked, Voldemort never spoke like that." Harry said.

**I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?**

**"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.**

**Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged.**

**"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"**

**"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.**

"Oh my God, this girl is an idiot." Seamus said.

"Well, tattoos are difficult to remove." Justin said.

"Why would he have a gun? I wouldn't think he would have anything related to the muggle world." Zacharias said.

"And again, what's up with the old English?" Ernie asked.

**Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.**

**I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.**

**"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"**

**"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.**

**"Are you okay?" I asked.**

**"No." he answered.**

**"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.**

"**That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.**

"Telekinesis is when you move things with your mind, not read them." Hannah said.

"I'm sorry, but Malfoy is acting like a wimp." Ginny said.

"Why do you say that, Ginny?" Luna asked.

"Well, if that girl didn't give him the time of day before, then why is he looking for her now?"

"Okay you guys, I'm going to start on Chapter 10,"Ron said as he went to the next parchment.

**Chapter 10.**

**AN: stup it u gay fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!**

"I'm muggle born, I'm not a vampire." Hermione said, "And I'm still a Gryffindor." She said.

**I was really scared about Vlodemort all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Hargrid. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.**

"So, I'm Diabolo now?" Ron asked in shock.

"Oh come on Ron, you didn't expect them to write bad about Hermione and I, and you wouldn't be written about?" Harry asked.

"I was hoping." He said.

"So Hagrid's in a band?" Ginny asked.

"Why would he hang with the likes of him?" Harry asked.

"So she can't spell cross, but she's okay with spelling steak?" Cedric asked.

"No, you're a slut, and everyone knows it." Dean said. Everyone laughed.

**We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.**

**"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.**

**"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears.**  
><strong>Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.<strong>

**"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?)**

"There's no reason to be hostile," Marietta said.

"I thought that Voldemort wanted to kill me himself," Harry said.

"This girl is crazy, Harry. Everyone in this room knows it." Cho said.

"Finally, Malfoy says what everyone in this room thinks!" Seamus said.

**I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.**

**We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.**

**"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."**

"Wait a minute," Hannah said, "Earlier in the chapter she said the only way they could die is by a cross or a steak, and that they couldn't die by slitting their wrists. But now, he died by slitting his wrists. What's the dealio?"

"Nothing this girl says makes sense, Hannah." Ernie said as he put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey guys!" Neville said as he came back from the portrait, "McGonagall is on the fourth floor. All the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws need to get out. You guys know how she feels about other houses being in our common room!" Everyone ran out besides the Gryffindors. "Well, that was interesting, Diabolo." George said as he snickered.

"My name is Ron!" He exclaimed as he threw his arms in the air. "Well, you're not alone. Your friends are Vampire and Bloody Mary."

"I'm Hermione and he's Harry!" She said first pointing to herself and then to Harry. "Whatever floats your boat." Fred said as they both went to their rooms.

"Hopefully tomorrow won't be so bad." Harry said.

"It's going to get worse, trust me." Ron said.

Please R&R


	6. Chapters 11 and 12

Cwam: Thank you for the review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or My Immortal

Ch 6

Harry and his friends have returned to the Common Room. It was the sixth day that they have read the story, My Immortal. Ron was sitting on the couch, and everyone else sat on the floor. The story had now included Malfoy, Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Any one of them could be in the story, they just hoped on the contrary. It was funny because they weren't involved, and they wished that it could stay that way. "Hey guys, are you ready?" Ron asked as he pulled out the parchment. The only response was that everyone was looking at him. "I'll take that as a yes."

**Chapter 11.**

**AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!**

"Does this girl know proper English?" Ron asked as he tried to make out what she was saying.

"No Ron, she didn't make it past kindergarten." Hermione said.

"That explains a lot." Ron replied.

"**NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.**

**Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.**

"Why am I even friends with this person?" Hermione asked. Everyone shrugged at her. "I don't think that Dumbledore would react that way." Angelina said.

"Wait, Snape was videotaping Ebony?" Fred asked weirdly. George shrugged at him.

"And Lupin was masticating? What was he eating? Some candy from Honeydukes?" Cho asked.

"I don't think that she meant mastication, I think she meant…" Marietta said but she was interrupted by Seamus who made a 'blech' sound. Zacharias covered his ears, and closed his eyes. He started screaming 'la la la la la la la! I can't hear you!" Ginny ran to the nearest trash can and was throwing up. She ran up to the bathroom and came back down with a rag. George put an arm around her. Fred came and sat next to her. He put a hand on her shoulder and asked, "Ginny, are you going to be okay?" She blinked and said, "Other than the fact that I'm going to be scarred for life, I'm okay." She said. "I thought that Snape hated Lupin." Harry said.

"Why do you say that?" Fred asked.

"You should look at the teacher's table once in a while. If looks could kill, Lupin wouldn't have made it past the first night." Harry replied.

"**EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.**

**"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…**

"I thought a pedophile was someone that was attracted to children?" Luna asked.

"They are," Dean said, "An endophile is someone who is attracted to teenagers."

"Wait, where did you get that from?" Neville asked.

"Muggle Studies Book, Chapter 28 Muggle Crimes." Dean said as he pointed to the book. Neville nodded.

"Wait, if someone shouts that curse, wouldn't they be dead?" Cedric asked.

"Why would they need a gun? I thought wizards use wands?" Lee Jordan asked.

"Again, does anything in this story make any sense?" Ernie asked.

"No." Lee replied.

**Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.**

**"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"**

**"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"**

**"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."**

**"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.**

**Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"**

"Hagrid got expelled fifty years ago, didn't he Harry?" Hermione asked, "you cleared his name."

"Yeah, I did." Harry said.

"Why does Professor Lupin have the video camera?" Justin asked.

"I have asked this a gajillion times, but I will ask once more. Does anything in this story make any sense?" Ron asked.

"No." Justin replied.

**I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.**

**"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.**

**And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.**

**"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.**

**"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.**

**"Because I LOVE HER!"**

"NO!" Harry shouted as he made a fist and hit the ground, "We lost Hagrid!"

"Let's just hope that's not the only person that we lose." Hermione said as she put her hand on Harry's shoulder. "Now, we're going on to the next chapter." Ron said as he pulled the other parchment out.

**Chapter 12.**

**AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok!**

"I sincerely doubt it." Cho said.

"Everything that is true in life is not in this story." Hannah said.

"**NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.**

**I stopped. "How did u know?"**

**"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"**

**"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.**

**"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!"**

"My scar has always been a lightning bolt." Harry said.

"Not in this story, it isn't." Seamus said.

"That's so cool, Harry, you can see into the future!" Colin said.

"I wish," Harry said, "Then I would know what days I shouldn't turn up for potions."

**Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.**

**Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.**

**"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.**

**"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.**

**"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."**

**"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.**

**"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.**

"So Snape and Lupin went to St. Mungo's for being endophiles?" Lavender Brown asked.

"I'll miss Professor Lupin." Luna said.

"Why would Hagrid be so worried about her?" Marietta asked.

"Because he loves her." Cho said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I think I'm going to throw up again," Ginny said as she ran to the bathroom. She came back with a bucket, and put it in front of her. "In case of any accidents," she said to Ron, who was giving her a weird look.

"**Whatever!" I yelled angirly.**

**He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .**

**"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.**

**"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!"**

**And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep.**

**"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?"**

**Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.**

**"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"**

**"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.**

"Is that even a spell?" Katie Bell asked Alicia Spinnet. She shrugged as her answer.

"I think they have made it perfectly clear that the flame was black." Padma said.

"Why would Hagrid yell at Professor Dumbledore like that? He usually holds him in high regard," Parvarti asked.

**Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!"**

**Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.**

**"You look kawai, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.**

"What is kawai mean?" Ron asked as he looked up at the group. "I think it's a Japanese phrase for cute," Dean Thomas said.

"Where on Earth do you get that from?" Ron asked.

"Muggle Studies, Chapter 17: Muggle Slang from Around the World," Dean replied.

"Ooohhh…" Ron replied.

"I thought that Snape and Lupin went to St. Mungo's, why would they still be at Hogwarts?" Zacharias asked.

"Don't make me…" Ron said.

"Nothing makes sense, gotcha." Zacharias said glumly.

"That's awkward. Why would I suck blood in the middle of class?" Harry asked as he grimaced.

"**Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way.**

**We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.**

**"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.**

**"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.**

**Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.**

**"NO!" I ran up closer.**

**"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.**

**"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!"**

**SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111**

**HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I**

"EEEWWWWW!" Harry replied as he covered his ears and closed his eyes. "Why would someone do this to me?" Everyone stared at him, they had no idea how to reply.

"I love Professor McGonagall now," George said, "she's my new hero next to Snape and Dumbledore."

"She tried to blame Harry for it? Doesn't this girl realize that it takes two to tango?" Cedric asked incredulously.

"Didn't she already state this?" Ginny asked.

"I think she doesn't know which way is up, personally." Ron replied back.

Neville came running back, "Guys, we almost got busted because McGonagall was near. Everyone needs to get out before she sees us." Everyone left. Ron, Hermione, and Harry were the only people still in the common room. "Harry, it's going to get worse." Ron said.

"I know, Ron, I know." Harry replied back.

Please R&R


	7. Chapters 13 and 14

Cwam: Thanks for the review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or My Immortal

Ch 7

The group had returned to the Gryffindor common room. Ron, once again, was sitting on the couch. Hermione now had decided to sit next to Ron instead of on the floor. Harry had sat on the floor in front of Hermione, but he was facing Ron. Colin Creevey was sitting by Harry, and was trying his best to take a picture and get Harry to autograph it. Harry, however, was ignoring him. All he wanted was for Colin to find something else to do. But alas, his futile attempts wouldn't waver. "Hey everybody," Ron said. No one heard him over the garrulous chatter. "Hey everyone!" Ron said a little louder. Ginny, who had heard Ron's pleas for everyone to shut up stood up from her place on the ground. She whistled and said, "Hey everyone! Ron is ready!" Ron gave her a questioning look, and she shrugged. She sat next to Luna who asked, "How'd you do that?"

"When you have six older brothers, it's a necessary skill to learn." Luna nodded and she turned to Ron. "Okay everyone, I'm ready, are you guys?" Everyone sat in silence, and that triggered Ron to start reading.

**Chapter 13.**

**AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom! PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!**

**Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.**

**"Dumbledore Dumblydore!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there.**

**"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.**

**"Volsemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.**

**He laughed in an evil voice.**

**"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged.**

**"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)**

"You know, I really like Dumbledore now," Fred said, "How about you George?"

"He is what makes this story entertaining," George said.

"Indeed," Fred said.

"That is disgusting," Harry said.

"I think that Harry has a crush on Malfoy!" Seamus shouted. "No I don't!" Harry replied.

"**Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.**

**"What?" I asked him.**

**"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair!**

**We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!"**  
><strong>It was….. Voldemort<strong>

"That is…weird." Cho said.

"Why did Harry have to pull his wand out to apparate? Couldn't he just do it?" Marietta asked.

"This story makes absolutely no sense!" Hermione said.

"Marietta, that is so wrong? Just do it?" Zacharias asked and all the boys laughed. Marietta scoffed, and then the laughter stopped. "Now, on to the next chapter," Ron said.

**Chapter 14.**

**AN: fuk off PREPZ ok! Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists. PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!**

"You know… that wasn't unexpected," Cedric said, "it's sad to say, but that's the truth."

"How could she get ten good reviews for this?" Lavender Brown asked, "this fanfiction is absolutely horrifying."

"Nothing makes sense, nothing makes sense," Neville chanted this mantra over and over again as he held his head in between his knees.

**WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.**

**We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Snaketail was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.**

**"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. "." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)**

**"Huh?" I asked.**  
><strong>"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.<strong>

"Wait, Cedric died. Where did this come from?" Katie Bell asked.

"Who the heck is Snaketail?" Angelina Johnson asked. Harry had pulled out his map, and he said, "Hey, one of the people on the map is named Wormtail, do you think it's the same person?" Harry said as he looked at Hermione. "Possibly," she replied.

"Why is it that every single person falls in love with Ebony? She sounds so stupid?" Lee Jordan asked.

"**Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.**

**"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.**

**"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.**

**"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."**

**"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." answered Draco.**

**"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.**

"She killed someone, and then she started crying? The hell is this?" Dean Thomas asked.

"I didn't know that You-Know-Who liked to dress in drag in his spare time," George stated.

"Well, there's a lot of things I don't know about that guy… but that is one thing I could have lived my life without knowing," Fred said.

"Where the bloody hell did Malfoy come from? He wasn't there two seconds ago, and then they were about to get it on?" Ron asked as he looked at the parchment.

"Okay, even she thinks that everyone liking her is weird. That's when you know that everything is wacked up." Lee Jordan said.

"But then again, she was flattered by it. I would hate to be with a girl like her, she has terrible mood swings," Seamus said.

"She was the one that tried to have sex with Vampire," Colin Creevy said.

"So she believes that Satan is God now?" Luna asked.

"No matter what sweetheart, you're never going to be normal. You might as well just accept it now," Lavender said.

"You would have sympathy for that freak?" Zacharias asked.

"Why, she is a person like everyone else," Lavender suggested.

"Yeah, but she's insensitive to everyone around her, always jumps to conclusions, and doesn't have sympathy for anybody," Zacharias shot back.

"But that means that she's a normal person!" Lavender shouted.

""No, no it doesn't," Seamus said.

"Hey guys, y'all have to go," Ron said, "I have to write a fifteen foot essay on how to properly create a dreamless sleep draught, and how to know whether or not I did it right so it doesn't kill anybody."

Everyone but the Gryffindors left. The rest of them went to their rooms, except for Ron, Hermione and Harry. "Snape bloody hates me, he's out to get me," Ron said as he winced as he looked at his potions textbook.

"Not as much as me," Harry said, "twenty-five feet on potion procedures, everything you have to write, and why I didn't do it correctly and it turned purple instead of the correct color."

"Dang, he really is out to get you Harry," Hermione said as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"You can say that again," Harry said.

"He's out to get you Harry," Ron said.

Please R&R


	8. Chapters 15 and 16

Sailorblaze: Thanks for the review! Sorry it took so long!

Zebra-girl 22: Thanks for the review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or My Immortal

Ch 8

Everyone had returned from classes, and were now nestled in the comfort of the Gryffindor common room. Ron, once again, was sitting on the couch. Hermione and Harry were sitting at his feet, and the rest of the group was spread around the couches.

"Are you guys ready for the next reading, you guys?" Ron asked as he looked up at the group. Everyone stayed silent, but they were staring at him.

"Okay, I'll start reading," Ron said as he looked back down at the parchment.

**Chapter 15.**

_**AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein!**_

"Isn't she being just a tad overdramatic," Cho asked.

"Sadly, for her, this sounds like her being normal," Marietta said.

"From the look of things, I would not be shocked if she was dead by now," Seamus said.

"**Ebony Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!"**

**But I was too mad.**

"**Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!" I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.**

"I don't know why Malfoy wastes his time on this girl," Ginny said.

"I would prefer it if Malfoy would not follow her advice," Harry said as he grimaced.

"So she slit her wrists, then drank her blood?" George asked.

"Apparently so, yuck!" Fred said.

"And since when does Hogwarts have a biology class?" Katie Bell asked.

"We have charms, defense against the dark arts, herbology, potions, arithmancy, history of magic, transfiguration, divination, flying classes for first years, care of magical creatures, ancient runes, muggle studies, apparition, and astronomy. But there's nothing about a biology class," Angelina said.

"Well Angelina, you sure know all the classes here at Hogwarts!" Fred exclaimed. Angelina blushed.

"Well, yeah, I guess," Angelina replied.

**I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum ****advanced Biology work****. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco! **

"**Enoby I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!." Then…. he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between ****Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson**_**(AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!)**_** . **

"**OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now) at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff **_**(**__**i fukin h8 dat bitch**__**)**_** and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether. **

"Okay, Ebony freaks out, and Malfoy acts as if she's just as important as Merlin," Lee Jordan said.

"If I got a knut for every time one of them said fuck I would be one rich…" George, Fred, and Ron turned to look at her with a glare. Ginny's eyes grew wide.

"I was going to say witch! What did you think I was going to say you three?"

"I can think of some ideas," Ron said.

"And what did Hilary Duff ever do to her? I mean, not that I know her or anything," Neville said.

"And why would Professor Lupin yell at them, he seems so nice," Hannah said.

"Oh look, another Hogsmeade concert, even though Hogsmeade does not have any muggles residing there, they still have the urge to host a muggle band concert," Seamus said. Ron looked at the group.

"Are you guys ready for the next chapter?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, as long as it is not about me dressed in a princess fairy costume chasing Malfoy around screaming how much I want him to fuck me, then yeah, I'm ready," Harry said. Everyone in the common room looked at him as if he just said that Sirius Black is innocent and that Peter Pettigrew was the bad guy.

"What?" Harry exclaimed, as he looked at all the shocked faces.

"Dude, just, wow," Ernie said.

"What this person would write something like that in this story," Harry said.

"I would not put that person past writing something so crazy," Luna said.

"Okay, now for the next chapter,"

**Chapter 16.**

_**AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis! BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese!**_

"You know what, my IQ just dropped ten points for trying to read this," Ron said.

"I think every one of us have lost twenty points from just listening to the last chapter, Ron," Hermione replied.

**We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing 'Helena'. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was.,….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers! **

"Girl, if your man was getting an erection, and it was not because of you, I would be a little worried if I were you," Zacharias said.

"Okay, why would any muggle band play in Hogsmeade? They do not even know that the city exists," Alicia said.

"I'm sorry, but there is something fishy when a muggle band plays in a wizarding town. How did I see this coming?" Dean Thomas asked.

"**Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them" **

"**What cause we…you know…" he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what. **

"**Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice. **

"**We won't do that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT." **

"**OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?" **

"**NO." he muttered loudly. **

"**R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily. **

"**Enoby! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me. **

**I was flattened cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me! **

"**OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room. **

**B'loody Mary was standing there. "****Hajimemashite**** gurl." she said happily **_**(she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese)**_**. "BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." **_**(an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)**_

"But you're already at the concert," Terry Boot said.

"This girl is crazy," Padma said.

"Okay, one Malfoy needs to leave this girl. And two, no one mutters loudly," Parvarti said.

"So the surprise of him singing the lyrics was such a load it flattened her to the ground?" George asked.

"Nice one Forge," Fred said.

"Thank you Gred," George said.

"Why am I even in her room? And I do not talk like that. And the closest thing to math at Hogwarts is Arithmancy." Hermione said.

"**It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed angrily. **

**Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. "Maybe Willow will die too." I said. **

"**Kawai." B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. "Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak." **

"**Kawai." I commnted happily . ****We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie. **

"**OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr." I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA." **

**B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg totally lets go shopping." **

"**In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde. **

"**No." My head snaped up. **

'**WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?" **

"**NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all." **

"**Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don't even SAY that nam to me!). Or me. **

"**Dumblydore." She sed. "Let me just call our broms." **

"**OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?" I asked quietly. **

"**Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." She told me. "Come on let's go." **

**We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs." **

"**Da real goffs?" Me and B'Loody Mary asked. **

"**Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera." **

"**OMFG NO THEIR GONNA ****SPY**** ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a ****huge slit****. **

"**Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said. **

"**Yeah it looks totlly hot." said B'Loody Mary. **

"**You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked. **

"**Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's ebondy dark'ness dementia TARA way what's yours?" **

"**Tom Rid." He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight." **

"**Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!" I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!"**

"Okay so Hermione kills the girl, and then Professor Lupin has sex with a corpse. Is there any level this writer will not sink to?" Justin asked.

"How could she have asked quietly when the question was in all capital letters?" Ron asked as he looked at the parchment.

"So the salesperson was hotter than Gerard Way, but wasn't. How is that even possible?" Colin Creevy asked himself.

"Of course Snape and Lupin are going to videotape you again," Cho said sarcastically.

"I just can't get over how close Snape and Lupin are. Snape hates Lupin for no reason. Even more than me," Harry said.

"So her name's Ebondy Dark'ness dementia TARA. What happened to the way?" Cedric asked.

"Tom Rid is the name of the clerk. Isn't that You-Know-Who?" Neville asked.

"Yeah, it is." Ginny said.

"She did not need to freak out on the clerk. She could have said no politely," Neville said.

"Since when does Hagrid fly on a broom?" Lavender asked. Marietta shrugged.

"Hey you guys. We'll meet tomorrow," Ron said as he rolled the parchment up. All the Hufflepuffs and the Ravenclaws left, leaving the Gryffindors in the common room.

Please R&R


	9. Chapters 17 and 18

Zebra-Girl22: Thanks for the review! I love Fred and George!

Winglessangelsstillfly: Thanks for the review!

Sailorblaze: Thanks for the review and the suggestion!

Jedi-Espada: Thanks for the review!

Scaevola2: Thank you for the review! Sorry it took so long

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or My Immortal

Ch 9

It had been a long day, and everyone had gathered around the sofa to hear more of the story. Ron sat in his usual spot on the couch. Everyone else was either on couches opposite him, or on the floor in front of him. He took out the scroll, and he began to read the next chapter.

_**AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF! pz willo isn't rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!**_

"I'm sorry, but does this girl even know how to speak the English language?" Dean Thomas asked.

"The sad part of it is that it really is written like that," Ron said, "it sounds like I'm incompetent,"

"How does she get through life?" Ginny asked.

"Hasn't this girl ever heard of a dictionary?" Hermione asked.

"I'm sorry, but hearing those X's all the time is really starting to get annoying," Zacharias said.

**Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes ****bisezual****). Hargird kept shooting at us to ****cum**** back 2 Hogwarts. "WTF Hargrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard." Well anyway Willow came. Hargird went away angrily. **

"**Hey bitch you look kawaii." she said. **

"**Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic. **

"First off, you don't call him Tom Riddle, that was a long time ago when he was normal," Terry Boot said.

"Second off, he does not give free clothes to anyone, not even to the closest death eaters," Lavender Brown said.

"Wait, how would you know that?" Pavarti asked her.

"The man is all for himself, duh,"

"Oh, yeah,"

"Why would they be so mean to Hagrid, he seems so sweet?" Hannah Abbot asked.

"Because she's an awful person Hannah," said Leann.

"Why is everyone goth in this story?" Neville asked. Everyone gave him a look that shouted, 'you have got to be kidding me.'

"Okay, I know this may be awkward coming from a guy, but, how does that work? They say this Willow girl has big breasts but is anorexic. If you have big boobs and are skinny, that's alright. I'm sorry, but a girl cannot be anorexic and have big breasts, the human body does not work that way," Fred said.

"This is so awkward," Ginny said as she put her head in her hands.

"Nice way of saying it Gred," George said.

"Thank you Forge," Fred said.

"Now back to the story," Ron said.

"**So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?" she asked. **

"**Yah." I said happily. **

"**I'm gong with Diabolo." she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B'loody Mart was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Navel but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's black Mercy-Bens **_**(geddit cuz wer gpffik)**_** that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there….I gapsed. **

"Okay, this is wrong in so many ways," Luna said.

"Why would I hang out with Malfoy?" Ron asked.

"Why is my name Dracola? And my family is not a bunch of vampires," Neville asked, clearly upset.

"Neville, you should have expected this," Seamus said.

"He was kidnapped from his parents, and they died in a car crash, which one happened before?" Lee Jordan asked.

"I don't know, Lee, nothing makes sense," George said.

**Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers! **

"Okay, do we really need to explain anything?" Zacharias asked.

"You would think the girl who wrote this would be intelligent enough to understand that My Chemical Romance is a muggle band. There would be no way that they would come to Hogsmeade, no matter what," Hannah said.

"And those death eaters wouldn't dress up as muggles no matter what scheme they came up with," Ernie said.

**U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily. "Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Draco!" **

"**No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife. **

**Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…DUMBLYDORE**!

"Why would He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named have a knife?" Cho Chang asked.

"Because this whole story doesn't make sense," Harry Potter said.

"A knife… that's as muggle as you can get," Ginny said.

"Maybe he broke his wand," Luna suggested.

"But that is rich, you know, Dumbledore," Ron said.

"Of all people, why did he have Avril Lavigne on the back of his cloak?" Hermione asked.

"Who is Avril Lavigne?" Padma asked.

"From talking to some of my muggle born cousins from America, she's a singer who thinks she's punk, but she's actually pop," Parvarti said.

"Wait… we have cousins in America?" Padma asked.

"The ones we send owls to every summer, Padma," Parvarti said.

"Are you guys ready for the next chapter?" Ron asked. He took the silence as a yes.

_**AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der!**_

"She really needs to cut this out," Hermione said.

"Maybe she wouldn't get so many flames if it weren't for the fact that every time you turn around, you can barely read anything she says. I'm having to squint my eyes just to be able to read this thing," Ron said.

"That's why you're up there, Ron" Cedric said.

"Ha ha," Ron said.

**(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull **_**(geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth)**_**. Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.) **

**Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys. **

"Oh my sweet Merlin," Cedric said.

"Did I really have to know that? I don't want to know what they do to any song?" Leann said.

"They're killing Hogwarts as we know it!" Dean Thomas said.

"Why would they even have Muggle bands at Hogwarts?" Hannah asked.

"Again Hannah, this story doesn't make any sense," Ernie said.

"**WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi. **

"I don't find any of those bands attractive," Hermione said in an attempt to defend herself.

"I don't think any of those people are attractive," Neville said.

"Welcome to the group, Neville," said Harry.

"I'm surprised that any of those people are still at Hogwarts. They broke so many uniform violations," Terry said.

"**Those guys are so fucking hot." Navel was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black. **

"…**.DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped. **

"**WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!" **

"**Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?" **

**Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1. **

"**BTW you can call me Albert." HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes. **

"If Dumbledore's a poser, than she is one too," Fred said.

"I thought she was wearing that to scare away whatever his name is," Seamus said.

"I find Dumbledore in this story hilarious," Lavender said.

"We're not the posers! The stupid Slytherins are!" Neville said. Everyone just stared at him.

"His name is Albus, not Albert. But nice try though," Harry said.

"**What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (****geddit, way lik Gerard****) but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted. **

**I was so fucking angry. **

"I doubt Harry could care less about Draco and his gothic girlfriend, right, Harry?" Luna asked.

"I'm not jealous, I feel sorry for him. The girl is a freak," Harry said.

"Wouldn't he have had his mid-life crisis fifty years ago?" Fred asked.

"George!" Ginny shouted.

"Well, the guy has a point, you know," George said.

"I hope she is angry enough to jump out a window, and fall to the ground," Neville said.

"Good one, Neville!" Seamus said.

"Thank you, I guess," Neville said.

"That is the end of the chapter, we'll see you guys tomorrow," Ron said. All the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws left.

"That was an interesting two chapters," Hermione said.

"Wait until tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow will be more interesting," Ron said.

Please R&R, constructive criticism welcome.


End file.
